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Redefining Yourself – Divorce Worksheet

Redefining Yourself in Divorce

Redefining Yourself – Divorce Worksheet

Divorce can be one of life’s most challenging experiences, leaving many feeling lost and confused. Redefining yourself post-divorce can be an overwhelming journey, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. This article will explore the importance of finding a mentor or support group as you redefine your life after divorce. With the right guidance and emotional support, you can take back control of your life and create a new sense of stability.  

This is the third installment of the Divorce Worksheet. If you missed them, you really should read the first two installments before proceeding.

  1. First Steps
  2. Getting Practical

16. Determine Who You Want To Be During This Crisis

Choose who you want to be as you go through the divorce process early on.

Finding support during this difficult time is essential to helping you stay physically and emotionally healthy. Joining a divorce support group or finding an individual mentor—either in-person or online—can significantly affect your healing process.

There are many ways to connect with others during the divorce process, from online forums and email groups to local meetups with people who have similar stories. For those seeking guidance from someone more experienced, mentorship programs offer one-on-one emotional and practical advice from vetted professionals. Whether you’re looking for a listening ear or need help navigating the legal complexities of your situation, these resources are invaluable for getting through the tough times ahead.

This will help you maintain civility and respect for your partner. If your spouse is the parent of your children, keep in mind that you still have many important occasions and milestones ahead of you like birthdays, graduations, weddings, reunions, and funerals. Trying to do the right thing may not change your spouse’s conduct, but it will set a strong example for your children, who are watching and wondering how things will turn out.

17. If You Have Children, Keep Them Always Top-Of-Mind.

Children Come First

When two adults choose to end their marriage, it can be difficult, stressful, and emotional. But when children are involved, it is essential to remember that the children’s best interests should be placed first. As parents, even during a divorce, it is vital to remember that your own emotional health can benefit from maintaining this focus on your children’s well-being.

Parents going through a divorce may feel overwhelmed by varying emotions, such as anger and sadness, which could lead them to make decisions out of emotion rather than reason. However, taking into account the best interests of your children will not only provide grounding for making sound decisions within the family dynamic but also benefits your mental and emotional health. Looking at challenges through the lens of how they affect your kids can shift perspectives away from personal pain or injustices towards creating positive solutions for them.

The finest version of yourself will also be in sync with keeping the needs of your children (if you have them) front and center. If you are dedicated to going through the divorce in the healthiest way possible for them, you must also do what is best for you because they deserve a parent who is well, strong, and thriving. (Are you there now?)

You should try to do all of this before speaking with your children.  Do not include youngsters in decision-making or encourage them to take sides. That is not right. Your children are not adults (despite their appearance) and should not be burdened by your adult actions.

The degree of acrimony and your long-term relationship with your co-parent will affect your children long after the divorce. Try your best to negotiate everything fairly with them to reduce the possibility of future emotional problems.

18. Determine Who Will Assist You During Your Divorce. Who Can You Rely On?

You’ll consult a divorce lawyer to learn your rights (see #19). However, beyond the legal or financial decisions, you’ll want someone who can give you perspective, help you problem-solve, and hold space for you to be emotional or however you need to be – all while maintaining confidentiality. Do you have a wonderful buddy who has recovered from their divorce? Be wary of well-meaning friends and family who can’t help but occasionally be judgmental.

Having the right people around you can make all the difference. When determining who will assist you during your divorce, consider asking yourself these two questions: Is this person experienced in handling divorces? Can I rely on them to be there for me?

Finding a mentor with a similar experience can offer emotional guidance. The best mentors are those who have navigated their divorces and understand what you’re going through. They can provide valuable advice about court proceedings, child custody issues, asset division, etc. Additionally, they will know how to emotionally handle the intense feelings of loss, anger, guilt, and confusion accompanying divorce.

Many believe a therapist or coach, particularly one with expertise supporting people going through and recovering from divorce, is the best.


In conclusion, redefining yourself and getting emotional support after a divorce can be daunting. But with the right mindset and support, it is possible to create a new life for yourself. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being, maintaining healthy relationships with friends and family, talking through your feelings, and seeking professional help are all essential steps in the process. By taking action and investing time in yourself, you can make your transition smoother as you work towards creating a better future for yourself.


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