Divorce is a difficult and emotionally-charged process that can be intimidating and overwhelming. Initiating a divorce can be one of the most difficult conversations a married couple will ever have. Still, it’s important to understand that telling your spouse you want a divorce is not impossible. Learning to effectively communicate with your spouse before and during “the talk” is key in ensuring both parties are heard and respected throughout the process.
If you came here first and missed the first six installments, here they are. Start at the beginning to get the most out of your Divorce Preparation Worksheet.
37. Decide on your “D-Day” and talk to your spouse before telling your kids.
Although there is never a good time to end a marriage, some periods are preferable to others. Check the calendar for your family first. Think about your children’s lives right now (do they have college applications pending? (Maybe hold off a bit longer.) Maybe you or your spouse are in line for a promotion? Choose a date to meet with your spouse after considering all your options and speaking with a lawyer and a financial counselor about your strategy. Even if it’s a flexible timeline, having a deadline for the discomfort is crucial.
38. Arrange a meeting with your divorce attorney (if you plan to use one) and talk about the timing of your divorce application.
Before telling the attorney to “go ahead and file” and before serving papers on your spouse, think about having “The Talk” with them.
39. Arrange for “The Conversation” and the Day.
Think of the following: where you’ll be (outside, away from home triggers), who will be there (can you get the kids somewhere else? ), what you’ll say (keep it simple), and how you’ll do it (explain it as simply as possible, be firm and clear but kind). “John, I just can’t continue living like this. I want to get divorced “. It doesn’t matter how others react or what they say since your truth is your truth. You once more declare, “John, I just can’t keep living like this any longer.” Then, “I want to get divorced.”
Divorce Planning Worksheet – “The Talk” Conclusion
In conclusion, having “the talk” and telling your spouse you want a divorce is difficult, but it can be done. There is no one size fits all approach to this difficult conversation – remember to stay focused on your goals, prepare what you will say, and know that the discussion may take some time. Additionally, consider if it’s necessary to have legal counsel present during the conversation.
